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Why Are We Yelling?

288 pages, 2019



909 books
business & management

business & management

1082 books


705 books

Buster Benson spent decades enabling difficult talks in stressful circumstances as the brains behind some highest-performing teams at Amazon, Twitter, and Slack. Finally, there's a way out, a new framework that will set you free from the endless cycle of fruitless disputes and meaningless arguments. 

You're not alone if the prospect of rising voices, emotional outbursts, and public strife makes you want to hide under the conference table. Conflict, or the threat of conflict, may be draining. However, as this compelling book demonstrates, disagreement does not have to be unpleasant. In reality, disagreement--when properly channeled--may be one of our most important tools for expanding relationships, solving issues, and generating new ideas.

Understanding the Purpose of Arguments

In 'Why Are We Yelling?', Buster Benson encourages us to see arguments not as fights, but as opportunities for growth. He suggests that arguments can help us explore different perspectives and learn new things. So, next time you find yourself in a heated discussion, remember it's not about winning, but about understanding.

The Art of Listening

Benson emphasizes the importance of active listening in his book. He believes that by truly listening to others, we can better understand their viewpoints and find common ground. So, take a moment to really hear what others are saying, it might change the way you see things.

Embracing Discomfort

Benson suggests that discomfort is a natural part of any argument. Instead of avoiding it, he encourages us to embrace it. By doing so, we can learn more about ourselves and others. So, next time you feel uncomfortable in an argument, remember it's an opportunity to grow.

The Power of Curiosity

In 'Why Are We Yelling?', curiosity is presented as a powerful tool. Benson believes that by being curious, we can better understand others and find solutions to conflicts. So, don't be afraid to ask questions and dig deeper, it might lead to surprising discoveries.

Transforming Arguments into Conversations

Benson provides practical tips on how to transform arguments into productive conversations. He suggests that by focusing on understanding rather than winning, we can turn conflicts into opportunities for growth. So, next time you find yourself in an argument, try to turn it into a conversation instead.

Quotes 3

Buster Benson's book is a game changer in understanding and navigating through our disagreements. It's a playbook for turning friction into function, and differences into mutual respect.

Adam GrantAdam Grant - Organizational psychologist

Benson's book is a beacon of hope for anyone frustrated by the divisiveness in today's world. It offers practical tools for transforming conflict into cooperation.

Daniel PinkDaniel Pink - Author, Speaker

Benson's book is a masterclass in turning heated conflicts into enlightening conversations. It's a must-read for anyone seeking to build bridges in a divided world.

Susan CainSusan Cain - Author, Speaker
Adam GrantDaniel PinkSusan Cain


authorRyan Hoover

Ryan Hoover

authorAdam Grant

Adam Grant

Sahil Lavingia

Sahil Lavingia

entrepreneurtechnologyventure capitalist

Why Are We Yelling? found in libraries

310 books

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