Reddit meter
Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)
400 pages, 2015
science & nature
1064 books
business & management
1082 books
self-improvement
909 books
psychology
705 booksWhy can we see the hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell? Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth.
And so, we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right -- a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception -- how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.
Carol Tavris explains that people have a natural tendency to justify their actions, even when they're wrong. This is because admitting mistakes can be painful. So, we often twist the truth to fit our narrative. This book encourages us to recognize this tendency and challenge it.
Tavris shows us that our memories aren't always reliable. We often remember things in a way that supports our self-image and beliefs. This can lead to a distorted view of reality. It's important to be aware of this and question our memories.
The book explores the concept of cognitive dissonance, which is the discomfort we feel when our actions don't align with our beliefs. To reduce this discomfort, we often change our beliefs to match our actions. Understanding this can help us make better decisions and avoid self-deception.
Tavris digs into the concept of confirmation bias, which is our tendency to seek out and interpret information in a way that confirms our existing beliefs. This can prevent us from seeing the truth and learning from our mistakes. The book encourages us to challenge our biases and be open to new information.
Finally, the book highlights the importance of apologies. Admitting our mistakes and apologizing can be difficult, but it's a crucial step towards personal growth. Tavris shows us that sincere apologies can mend relationships and help us move forward.
